* This post was initially intended to become a “Creative Recall” entry… however, the universe wanted me to process and go down a different avenue entirely. I love when clichés prove their significance and life truly happens when you are making other plans.
I know my existence is virtually the same as it was a few months ago… but my soul is different, it is becoming more content.
I have so many aspirations for my creativity and for this little space of mine on the internet. I know I still have a long journey before me… but my soul and the universe are excited that I am on the right path, I can feel their relief.
My conscious mind is more clear, and therefore, my unconscious mind is as well. My dreams have stopped “sounding the alarms” by waking me with a jolt (just as I was approaching the amount of rest my body needed to recharge), trying to send a message. No more acknowledging the message and then deleting it.
I’m becoming less passive. It is interesting because I have always been passive simply because, after honestly analyzing the characteristic, I thought everything would be easier if I would just “go with the flow”. Fear of people’s reactions and thoughts fueled the pattern. However, I wasn’t acknowledging any specific identity or developing a healthy opinion on my preferences… I was sort of just floating through the days.
The thing is though… (duh!) People are going to see me as however they process (depending on their experiences/opinions/thoughts/etc.) anyways- so why not just own who I am?
I feel like I am finally discovering myself for myself. I was just going along with life and trying and make it simple… then, I’d blow up (at least inside) when things didn’t go the way I thought they would. Really, how could I have any expectations when I didn’t own the aspects that lead up to the end result(s)?
The not-so-ironic things is, now that I am shifting to stop hiding from who I am, to speak with more mindfulness, and to create/write/share/process through it all, I am left thinking, “this is so easy.” I am going with my own flow now.