As I power walked on the slightly inclined treadmill this evening, I noticed how dark it was outside. For a moment, I imagined that the darkness instead belonged to the morning. I chuckled at the thought of myself completing my thirty-minutes of cardio before work. “I’m not sure what would motivate me to get up early enough to make that a habit,” I thought to myself.
Instantly, my brain came back with a rebuttal, “What if you were in an accident and couldn’t use the treadmill anymore…? A result of the misfortune left you unable to work out at any time of day?”
Whoa, my psyche was getting all serious on me. However, it was good question… and a subject I can connect with other recent interactions.
Today, while speaking with someone about the time-frame directly following my first, and most serious, hospital stay- I heard myself say, “That was a wonderful time, there is something about having a near death experience that makes you really enjoy life.”
Yesterday, a woman I know was telling me how well her daughter is doing now after she essentially hit rock bottom concerning problems with addiction. “She is a new person,” the woman related with a smile.
This forces me to wonder, what does it take to motivate us to thrive… to make us appreciate wellness, a sound body, and life itself? An accident? A bout of serious illness? A struggle?
I have always had a weird phrase that I like to repeat. In the spirit of full disclosure, I suppose it is more of a rationalization, but I do feel that, “I would rather have been there and back than not have been there at all.”
I believe that all my mistakes and trials have built character, and have made me stronger and wiser… but, were they absolutely necessary to cause growth? Would I appreciate life as much as I do without them? Would I appreciate life more if I experienced more tragedy?
I do feel blessed to have Crohn’s. With heart disease in my genetics (my mom had two heart attacks at 31 years-old), I hope that my lifestyle and diet changes will reverse my heredity. Then the inevitable question arises… If I didn’t have a chronic condition that forced me to focus on daily choices, would the motivation be there?
It’s just something to think about next time I find myself dwelling on why I can’t … while conversely, in many situations, I actually can-
and I should be grateful for how beautiful that truly is.