February 24th, opening night of the Insomniac Theatre’s The Vagina Monologues.  At approximately 9:10 p.m. I stepped out into the audience.  The spotlight gave a glow to my peripheral vision… and the assembly of people encircling me were perceived as surreal apparitions.

My mind and body seemed detached.  I felt outside of myself.  The words flowed from my mouth, the movement generated from my body… and it was like my conscious self was in another place.  It was all so powerful.  So surreal.  So adrenaline-induced.

What a beautiful rush.  I loved it.

Opening night is over. The experience has my adrenaline stabilized (I hope )… and when my mind and body came together again after it was all over I felt such a sense of appreciation….  for what the show means…  for the bond that has been created between the members of the cast and crew… for the connection with the community… for the connection to another part of myself.

This past January 29th, only a few weeks ago, I found out about auditions for the production and had a significant pep talk with myself about going out for them.

Life is so incredible.  There are things we cannot control, and those things can make us feel lost and scared… but, we can make decisions that bring us to new and exciting places. Places that we didn’t know if we could get to.  Places that renew our strength and resiliency… and getting to these places with such a wonderful group of people is even more gratifying.  For me, this makes the parts of life that aren’t such a beautiful adrenaline rush feel less forlorn.

Here is to the strength we have inside of us… as women… as humans… as a community.

I am thrilled for the second performance tonight… I am savoring all of it…

… and I just have to mention the shoes that are carrying me through my monologue… (Only 13 bucks!)

xo.