Monthly Archives: April 2012

Apr29

Why are we all so sick?

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All through my twenties I battled health issues.  Even before I was diagnosed with Crohn’s I was frequently fatigued and had Rolaids and Tums with me at all times.

As my illness came to light, I spoke more about it… and I became more cognizant that it wasn’t just me who was sick.

Other friends–my age–were suffering as well.  Migraines, stomach issues, Endometriosis, chronic pain, etc.

It made us all desperate. How do we fix this?  How do we get well? Eastern medicine?  Western medicine?  Holistic treatments?  We gravitated towards any avenue that held hope.

We are still seeking.  We still have pain.  We still have fear.  I have two close friends preparing for surgery- exhausted from the search, to the point now of relief for their pending procedure.

What has caused this influx of illness?  I suppose we can only guess… food, genetics, etc.

Even when the symptoms are there, even when the darkness sets in… we can find the light in each other.  We can share our successes, and share our failures.

Just as a day of joy is better experienced with others, I find that a day of woe need not be kept to myself.  Then, it only festers.

If you are struggling, release it. Allow the pain to lead you to a connection.

Ill or not, connections are the best medicine we have.

xo.

Apr24

So thrilled that it’s my SITS Day!

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What an exciting time in my life to be featured by the incredible SITS girls (an amazing network of supportive women).

2012 has been a year of pushing my boundaries and chasing my dreams.

…But, let me back up a moment, for anyone who is here for the first time I want to introduce myself.

Hi, I am Brandy Harris.  I was born just outside of St. Louis, MO, but my mom, dad, and I moved to Central Florida when I was 6 years-old in 1988.

I am now 30 years-old, this milestone occurred on my December birthday, the 23rd.

(This is me. :) A picture from the first photo shoot I ever did, which was a cool little dream of mine that came true this year. I posted about it here.)

I am happily married to my best friend, Jerry.  We said our vows on October 16, 2010.  We don’t have children yet, but we do have an adorable fat cat, Chloe.

I also have Crohn’s Disease.  I wrote a piece about it for a site called Tiny Buddha and linked it to my blog back in August.  The essay explains how rediscovering my love for creativity (largely through blogging) has become therapeutic for me mentally and physically.  As I write in the piece, I think of the Crohn’s as a teacher rather than a disease.

I created my blog in June of 2011 and in that short time have realized that the type of expression I tap into here is essential to finding balance in my life.  My drawings have given me another creative route to explore, and I have enjoyed highlighting beautiful women I know through Portrait of a Goddess.  I also like to post Self-Reminders and a series I call Creative Recall, which highlights the creativity of my past.

I simply post about what inspires me.  I try not to over-think or over-plan.  That happens so frequently in life, that last thing I want is for my blog to be an obligation.

So, now to get back to this year and this time of transition in my life.  My blog has been seeing a bit less of me lately, but that doesn’t mean that I am not marinating with thoughts and ideas… and I have been posting extremely meaningful poems (which are my favorite as a writer, I gravitate to the short and sweet types of prose :) ) to process through the new adventures on my horizon.

2012 has been full of exciting undertakings.  The previously mentioned photo shoot, which took place because I pushed my boundaries and tried out for a play, The Vagina Monologues, where I met the photographer when head-shots were taken.  The play lead to a close friend bringing co-workers to opening night, which lead to where I am now, about to start a new job after being at my current job for 5 years.

I am a mental health therapist and I am savoring this exciting, and wonderfully scary, time. :)

Thank you for stopping by and reading, whether this is your first time on Deliciously Alive or not.  Whoever you are and whatever your circumstance, I hope life is on the upswing for you.

xo.

Brandy…

…and please connect with me on Twitter and/or email at BrandyHarris1016 [at] gmail.com

Apr17

Magnificent Limbo.

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When you are certain things aren’t quite right…

… Things don’t fit you anymore, don’t make you happy, aren’t attuned to your frequency…

When your soul is screaming pleads of change (to your gut, to your body, to your emotions)… and that’s all it can do.  Shrieking until it collapses into an apprehensive slumber, only to wake to the same endeavor- BEGGING FOR YOUR ACKNOWLEDGEMENT.

When the universe takes time from its infinite tasks to guide your eyes, your gaze, your focus to a new path… one that has the potential to unearth your potential.  Passions that you have kept dormant because of comfort, because of (real and imagined) barriers, because of fear.

Quiet your soul.  Allow it to rest its voice… and fuel it with what it desires.

The universe is showing you… beautiful possibilities await.

Revel in the uncertainty-

It holds certain promise.

xo.

Apr12

Like a Wrecking Ball.

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Surrendering to the ascending motion.

The safety net removed.

Ignoring the throb of past scars.

Endurance turns into acceptance, and healing takes hold.

Suddenly… all motion ceases.

No release, no free fall.

Just… still,

misplaced, and stagnant.

An orphaned hope.

Detached dreams.

Not lost, but…

bewildered.

Just another scar,

a battle wound.

Pupils dilate from the sudden darkness…

… but, you are the light.

Reignite the blaze in your soul- allow it to fuel the ascent,

and commence the motion.

 

 

xo.

Apr10

This Moment.

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Chipped pink nail polish holds the place for manicured aspirations.

The Spring Jasmine Tea in a cherished mug sends warmth to a fragile gut.

Blond curls intertwine with pink feather earrings.

Ankles crossed, the stockings that cover them have secret tears many inches up-

The beloved hosiery has accessorized her appendages through many seasons.

A heating pad that rests between her lap and abdomen dilates vessels and increases blood flow.

Her blue-gray eyes linger on her surroundings, like it is the first time… like it is the last time.

A wave of change approaches.

She doesn’t brace herself-

She wants to be swept away.

 

xo.

 

 

 

Apr1

Look Closer.

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Allow renewed energy to settle inflammation. The fires of an uneasy gut find themselves quenched.

 

Prepare for a new journey… but make sure your brain isn’t stuck in a subconscious vortex of being controlled by fear/uncertainty/unspecific expectations.

 

Be the secret wishes that you have, live them.

 

xo.

***********************************************************************************************************************

… and wish I had more light to capture the owl we saw last night…

 

(Look for his red eyes, and you will find him.)

 

xo, again. :)