Most of us need money to survive. There a bills and groceries and other miscellaneous costs that we are frequently confronted by multiple times a month.
One of the major questions we are asked when we are young is, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” However, the truth is, what we want to be sometimes takes a long time to figure out… and when/if we do discover what our calling is, will it pay enough to satisfy the previously mentioned costs?
There are songs and sayings and stories of being a “working man” and work sucking the life out of us. Many of us do what we can do to make ends meet, often times having to forget or ignore what we are truly passionate about. We rationalize the place we find ourselves in. “At least I have a job.”
I have not been in the working world for a huge amount of time. I spent 6 and a half years after high school in undergrad and graduate school. I did work then, at a coffee shop. It was fun, but temporary, and hardly paid what I would need now to live on my own. After I graduated with my Masters Degree at the end of 2006 it took me about 5 months to secure a “real job”. It was in my field and I was thankful for that.
I spent five years there, from May 2007 until two weeks ago.
I met amazing people there and I learned an incredible amount. However, in that setting, my ability to truly be myself was unattainable. I was constantly in defense mode. I resorted to putting a muzzle on who I was to fit in. I worked hard and enjoyed what I did, but it wasn’t what I was passionate about. I found myself spinning, but always rationalizing the fact that, “at least I have a job.”
When the opportunity to work somewhere new came up, part of me was terrified. I had been going back and forth to the same place for a long time, I had bills to pay— should I take this risk?
As I write this, on my 8th day at my new occupation, I feel such a sense of gratitude- for everything. For the past five years at a job that taught me what I needed, and what I didn’t. For a new job that has welcomed me with open arms and has allowed me to be myself. For getting back to what I am passionate about. For my Crohn’s “teacher” who has calmed and balanced (most likely because it is not trying to get my attention anymore).
For my office, that reflects who I am…
…For taking the risk.
Living in gratitude is honestly priceless. Stop rationalizing and do what you can to be there.