Tag Archives: Travel

Self Reminders: Volume 20

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*  Embrace who you are, don’t run from it or obsess with “fixing” and “changing.”  Acknowledge what you need… nourish it… and channel your energy into what brings you peace.  Then, the balance will find its way in… and you will still recognize the person looking back at you in the mirror.

 

*  Just in case no one has told you lately, “Holy S#!*, you are STRONG.”

 

*  Always make time for silliness (even just for a moment, especially when things get tough… “Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion.  I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.” ~ Kurt Vonnegut).

xo.

Another way to heal…

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I started August of this year on a mission to find treatment through solely Eastern methods for my Crohn’s Disease.

This focus was consuming on many levels, but I was determined to give my all in the process.

Although circumstances proved it was not time for this kind of healing in exclusion, I have now found a (renewed) acceptance of Western therapies and a balance with my injection/medication and with vitamins/probiotics.

 

Through all this exertion of my entire being to discover a better quality of physical health… my emotional health depleted as well.

After coming through the medical crisis, the thoughts that began to surface weren’t as positive as with my two previous hospital stays-

Was this my fault? Was this to be the pattern of my life- work and push until I can’t, with the only break being hospital stays or sick days?  Do people around me just see a sick person?  Can I ever hope to lead a normal life?  Will I ever be able to start a family?  … etc., etc., etc.

 

Then, I found another way to heal.  Not through Eastern or Western medicine… but through love and support.  Through the connections with others.

My mom came out the weekend after I got out of the hospital. With my energy still low we did what we could… and getting myself out of my head to go on little adventures jump started my sense of well-bring that had gone numb.  Being with my husband and my mom put the big picture back into focus… it shifted my perspective to one of hope.

 

Returning to work allowed me to realize what I had been through had not been in vain… I could use my experiences for mutual growth with my clients.  By my third day back, I felt that I had gotten to the other side of this experience… the pangs of deep sadness while I went through the motions of life began to fade.

 

This weekend I spent time connecting with others… finally feeling energized enough to speak deeply of my experience.

 

 

Sometimes we have to go it alone.  The road gets narrow and the journey calls for us to feel it… to really feel emotions that aren’t associated with sunshine and rainbows.  Perhaps what is really happening is that we are actually STRONG ENOUGH to cope and handle the darker sides of life that we had pushed away or ignored?  Perhaps it is these times that measure our character(?)… the lengths we return from after a free fall into darkness.

But then… when we come up for air and our breathing gets back to normal… we look around and find we aren’t alone.  Others have taken a narrow road as well and are ready to embrace us on the other side… and even if they haven’t seen the darkness, there are those who just want to shine their light upon us.

In all my searching I have found that this is truly the best kind of medicine.

xo.

Learn your language.

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Acknowledge irritations, and spend time with all that soothes.

Revel in free will.

Find reassurance within.

Accept wise words, anger does have a place.

Choose to feel.

Breathe… no, really breathe.  Keep breathing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

xo.

A Short Story About Kindness.

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It is so funny when you think you know what the universe is doing. It’s usually when you are in a flowing rhythm with everything and you start subconsciously setting rigid expectations.

Yesterday after leaving the beach, we headed to an outside art show that was taking place in Downtown Ormond. Parking was limited, and we ended up driving into an area behind a building that was difficult to turn around in. However, when we finally emerged, a car was backing out of a spot that was perfect. “Oh yes,” I said assuredly “the universe wanted us to go to this art show.”

As soon as we got out of the car we heard it. A hisssssssssssssssing noise. Driver’s side front tire, just evacuating air.

I got upset, and had my little tantrum in my head. The universe gave us a parking spot, but a hole in our tire?

So, we got back in the car in search of a gas station.

The “fix a flat” didn’t do a thing and the disposable tire repair kit was not working so well when a Smart Car pulled up in the space next to us.

The driver of the vehicle was an older man, who immediately reminded me of my dad. He stood over Jerry a moment, giving advice. Then, he told us to “saddle up” and head over to his place right up the road where he had a compressor and tools.

I have to admit that my first response was nervousness. I could tell Jerry was nervous as well, he continued to try and work on the tire. The man again told us it was no problem and he could help.

We got into our car and the first thing I did was text my mom the man’s license plate number. I called her and informed her of the situation. I tried to relax, I mean this guy reminded me of my dad, but I didn’t want that to turn off my caution.

We pulled into his house, an adorable older home a couple of streets away from the beach. I saw his last name on a sign. I heard dogs barking inside.

He got out more tools. We chatted a bit. He had a daughter around my age, who lived right up the road. Her husband, like mine, was a computer guy. We joked about his generation’s knowledge of cars, and ours of computers.

The tire was almost finished and he mentioned that three Junes ago his wife was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and she was buried this past November. We were cleaning up and he was wiping his hands when he said, “I figure it’s just a matter of time, the longer you live.”

My heart broke. I thought of my dad without my mom. I was glad his daughter lived nearby. I shook his hand, Pat was his name.

I texted my mother again, this time with Pat’s address and last name… so I could send him a thank-you card.

xo.

My Therapy.

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For me, being near the ocean is like spending time at the most natural day spa.  Skin is healed and sun-kissed.  Sinuses are cleared from warmth and sea water.  Hair lightens.  Eyes are brighter and more clear.

Energy is rebalanced.

Life… lightens in every definition of the word…

- illuminate

- cheer up; inspire

- help, support.

xo.

This Moment.

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Chipped pink nail polish holds the place for manicured aspirations.

The Spring Jasmine Tea in a cherished mug sends warmth to a fragile gut.

Blond curls intertwine with pink feather earrings.

Ankles crossed, the stockings that cover them have secret tears many inches up-

The beloved hosiery has accessorized her appendages through many seasons.

A heating pad that rests between her lap and abdomen dilates vessels and increases blood flow.

Her blue-gray eyes linger on her surroundings, like it is the first time… like it is the last time.

A wave of change approaches.

She doesn’t brace herself-

She wants to be swept away.

 

xo.

 

 

 

Make a Change.

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That feeling of hope?  You prompted it.  Thank yourself.

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Stagnant air surrounds…

Shallow breaths beg for oxygen.

The resolution of dejected acceptance.

A swift change-

Lungs expand from renewed hope.

Examined eyes hold a newfound confidence.

A stomach full with digestible emotions.

Beauty where shadows were previously cast.

Refrain from self-hindering,

Your environment unfurls from within.

 

 

xo.

Evolution of Friendship

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It seems like it was yesterday when I met Lauren… time has a way of doing that.  She was four years younger than me, which is nothing now… but at the time I felt sorta old being twenty-two and her being eighteen.  I suppose I was kind of like a big sister.

We bonded right away.  It wasn’t long before we were confiding in each other and spending tons of time with one another.

(Lauren and me about 8 years ago.)

Some of my favorite memories are Sunday nights in 05/06 when we would go to I-BAR in Orlando and dance our hearts out to New Wave music.

Then, we got older.  We moved away from home.  We started lives.  However, Lauren and I stayed in touch… seeing each other whenever possible.

(Christmas ’09)

 

(Christmas ’10)

(April ’11 when we took a trip down south and spent time together.)

 

 

Now, she is about to have a baby.  Jerry and I went to her shower on Saturday and it was just so beautiful to see her in this phase.  It’s funny that me, the sorta old one, gets to now watch her become a mama. :)

(She just makes the most beautiful mommy-to-be.)

 

 

 

Well, little sister… I am so proud of you (and I am open to any tips about this amazing process you are going through.)

 

Love you, Lauren.

 

xo.

 

 

 

 

Self Reminders: Volume 13

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*  Take a step out of your comfort zone, find out how comfortable it may actually be.

*  Remember last Monday when you were on a beautiful beach in the Bahamas?  You can still be there tomorrow.  :) Carry the peace with you through any chaos.

*  Sometimes you just have to get dessert. (Even if you just take a bite.)

 

xo.